There is an old saying which goes “you aren’t counted in until someone counts you.”
It begs the question, who exactly is the one pointing the finger and counting? In 2018 the spotlight on the power structures in America has never been brighter. Our very own president is an outspoken, brash tyrannical criminal who has unapologetically declared a war on all marginalized individuals. And he sports a bad spray tan. So how do these mechanisms and power structures play out in the smaller scope?
It doesn’t take a rocket scientist. White men have seated the throne in our world for centuries. They are born with a brass ring before their feet even touch the ground. Anything feminine in our society is deemed weak, bleak, sexy or dispicable, and totally exploitable, It would only make sense that an individual relinquishing the title of a man and walking into the role of a woman would be mercilessly persecuted. Why? Because it fucks with the status quo. It’s a glitch in the system. A wrench in the engine. It can’t be marketed, or capitalized on in the current state of our world.
In my experience as a Trans woman I have been the target of many assaults, verbally and physically.
My very existence is put up for a line of questioning I never signed up for, let alone cared for. I’m not a hot topic. I’m simply a 23 year old woman surviving. I personally don’t feel as though I am a member of the LBGT community. And I know many other T girls don’t either. The microaggressions we face by the victors of the equality battle are countless. I’m talking about gay men. It only makes sense. And it’s no one’s fault in particular, it’s all of ours. We’re all forced to participate in this patriarchal design in one way or another. Guilt is apart of the human condition. Fortunately so is justice.
I personally don’t have time for pettiness. I don’t want to be used as a prop to deepen the pockets of any corporate CEO in a suit. It’s irrelevant to me who they choose to sleep with. Unfortunately I believe this is the scenario at many LBGT community events, centers, fundraisers. It’s a tired way of being. Trans women are remarkably underpaid (if paid at all) and mistreated. There’s a barbed wire fence we have to climb over to receive any shred of dignity or respect. I don’t care if I’m pretty enough, if I am passing, I don’t care about what surgeon to go to, and I don’t care who thinks I’m a slut. I’m more interested in just being and pushing even a small fraction of change.
As I said earlier justice is also apart of the human condition.
I think that is going to take a lot of uncomfortable conversations. Men, gay or straight have an aversion to being uncomfortable. We have spoiled them. And they have neglected us, conditioned us as women to stay in this uncomfortable hopeless place. To accept it as ourselves and repeatedly nurture our own wounds. They essentially unconsciously or not love having us as the perfect victims. when someone else has less on their plate it means someone has more. The more Trans people are able and encouraged to speak candidly on their experiences, without the pressure of kissing ass, the more we embrace uncomfortability as a sign of growing, that is the only way we can push forward to a resolution in equality. That has to start with on our own community. Or else its bound to fall apart.